23 Dec 2010.x

Well, today was interesting, although there was a few hiccups, but i really enjoyed myself... At first i was in my normal lazy slum routine, but then i woke up to see a few friends which was what i needed i think, though i do miss the college friends too... I enjoyed the company of secondary school pals, a few surprise people came, but i thought that was a sweet gesture from fia :)
A few words still needed to be said, but in the last few days i've learnt that i should have fun at any time possible... from when i wake up to the second i go to sleep...
So far it seems to be working very well, hopefully nothing spoils that ...
running out of things to say so night x  x <3

Midnight Report.x

Today was kewl, didnt wake  til 4 tho...Since then I've taken photos and spent quality family time. Having a game night, even cooked dinner together, i thought it was pretty cool seen as we hardly do much as a family, these days.
Patching things up is the key... I've come to realise there is much to admire & very few we as humans do. There maybe losts thoughts that we hold within, or feelings we decide to ignore.
Within the past couple of days i've realised its better to open up and tell people how you feel. Instead let it eat at your mind for a long period of time...
Not much to rant about tonight so
nyt my love x x <3

Last Day.x

Another Day Gone By... Things have improved.. I was determind to end on a high. Success? Not quite, it was a day with for no complaining, i've always loved helping people who need me, and i've always liked to advice people in situations. Sometimes you have nothing to make people feel better and sometimes theres just nothing to help the situations..
Last day of college, I was just enjoying the company of my adorable & awesome friends.. I have finally learnt how to appreciate what I have, how to deal, how to be strong and comfortable with myself...
I have also learnt that many people can be stubborn, but admit our mistakes as we may never have the chance to make up again... No one is garenteed a tomorrow and no one is guarenteed to be in the same place they were yesterday...
Wishing loved ones a lovely holiday & Lots of christmas cheers x x <3

Thursday Night.x

Hmm, It seems like for every problem that gets solved, more come my way...
Its actually very stressful, thinking you've made peace and started fresh, then BAM another problem in your way... Preventing you from enjoying whatever it is...
Tonight, i had gone food shopping with my mum & brother, it was the first time in a while we had been altogether like that, enjoying eachothers company.
But then, i've managed to upset someone by doing nothing, that im aware of anyway.
People have a odd way of communicating, Why is it so hard for people to say how they really feel? , What they really think? ... If everyone was just simple and straight forward they'd be less problems.
Well, Im hoping for a brighter tomorrow, as today was absolutely freezing and i had mood swings all through today, but what made me happy is someone i thought didnt understand me at all, can tell how i feel without any words being said, without any eye contact, now that was something worthwhile..
I'm trying to end this year on a positive, so looking for my ups & holding myself together... Ready for a new year x x <3

Hmm.x

Gosh, another day of crap college, each day that goes by is meant to be getting easier, but in reality it seems like the opposite...
I've never felt so confused and blocked out from myself, i know this maybe confusing, but its as though im separated from myself. I've learned that in this life theres people you may trust, but do they have the decency keep there mouth shut. If it doesnt involve you , do not open your mouth like its your business, unless your being seeked advice from. I have two possibly 3 people i trust with my life. I dont have best friends, i have close friends, people im close to and talk to. But now my patience has run thin, i've cracked. 
My emotions remained bottled up to keep others happy, but right now i dont feel happy at all, just living in the moment doesnt work anymore especially when theres a past. Whether it be bestfriends, enemies, ex or current lovers. The issue doesnt fade away cuz you dont want it to exsist.
Argh! Another stressful day... However, i came home to realise even through the worst & the best, they'd be here.. Im here for them and they know that. Again, we dont realise the specail things in life til we dont have them anymore...
Trust & Love & Friends come and go..
I will fight for what i believe in... Play mind games, but i can play them better, dont forget that!  x x <3

Tuesday Night.x

I've come to discover many people will take advantage of what they have... Unlike many I've learnt to appreciate what i have & even what i dont have, sometimes i believe it takes losing something to realise what you had. I'm grateful to my friends who are always there for me. True friends are those who are honest and understand you when a million others dont. Tonight, I have recognised that no matter how independent you are, or how kept to yourself you may be. People can still hurt you, as your fears and weaknesses are shown in your eyes. As everyone acts on instincts, may be if we were able to understand eachother as we do ourselves there wouldnt be a conflict between those who despise and those who adore. Sometimes, we lose our selves abit just to express our inner thoughts and lose self-control.
Abit of a rant tonight. x x <3

14th Dec 2010

Blegh.. Today was an average day, started fine and then the thoughts came and everything...
I really cant stand the thought of people who care about me not trusting me,
I dont believe that i've provoked it in,
I know i have my faults and there is so much i really dont understand recently..
Some people really love to see me hurt, just dont get people like that seriously
Gotta Thank My Lovey Silvi La La & Ayo For Pulling Me Through Another Day,
Definately hoping that 2moro is a brighter day 
My First Blog, Not so successful, off to do economics work x x <3